Interview | Aischa Daughtery: This Is How We Love | Sabrina Sigler
A lipstick kiss sign off, pressed rose petals, a handwritten poem from overseas: the world’s first anthology of lesbian love notes is here.
Cover art by Poppy Naomi Smith (Instagram: @poppynaomi)
This Is How We Love is the debut book from award-winning Scottish poet, Aischa Daughtery, which features love letters, notes, poetry and artworks shared between lesbians across the globe.
The book serves as a unique time capsule documenting modern-day lesbian relationships while bringing a well-needed positive representation of authentic lesbian love and existence.
Bursting with ‘love, yearning, heartache and nostalgia’, the hardback anthology holds 184 pages of ‘dreamlike visuals and earnest words of love’ from contributors aged 15 to 74.
On the revolutionary project, multi-award winning and bestselling author, Louise Welsh said: “This Is How We Love is a necessary book, an archive of lesbian love, joy, sorrow, nostalgia, good times and domesticity.
“It is a book of steel and sticky marshmallow, a glimpse into the lives of others, a mirror to ourselves.
“Aischa Daughtery has done the world a service in putting this collection together.
“It is an object of beauty and solace that I know I will return to.”
The archive invites readers to ‘travel, daydream, feel inspired, safe, celebrated, and above all, at home’. For once lesbians are the majority, This Is How We Love is by and for them. As described by seasoned author, Elizabeth Reeder: “This book is like walking into a favourite gay bar with your love’s hand grasping your own and settling into your body (and community) as it is at its most joyful.”
130 works were selected to feature in the book out of over 350 submissions from all corners of the world.
On participating in the project, one contributor said: “To have this genuine representation of our community feels like a victory for us all.
“This Is How We Love will be a meaningful archive of our lives for future generations to appreciate."
As an admirer of Aischa’s words for years now, I was honoured to speak with her about her experience of producing such a triumph and of the significance of This Is How We Love to her community.
Q: How did the idea for This Is How Love come about?
A: In November 2020, I launched Lesbian Love Notes, an Instagram-based collective that united lesbians from across the globe in a digital sphere categorised by hope and happiness— worlds away from the devastation caused by the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic. After months of brainstorming ways that I could expand Lesbian Love Notes into something more meaningful and tangible to contribute to my community, in March 2021, I applied for funding to make This Is How We Love, and the rest is history!
Q: What has been something you've learned or that has impacted you in creating the anthology?
A: I have truly learned so much throughout this whole process, especially about self-publishing. The practice gets a lot of hate as being something writers do because their work ‘isn’t good enough’ to be published by a publishing house, but despite my peers and tutors repeatedly telling me to do so, I didn’t even attempt to get an agent for This Is How We Love. The book is rooted in community and DIY culture; I was always going to publish it myself. Making this book has totally affirmed my career ambitions, too; I so badly want to do this full-time, forever!
Q: I am sure you won't be able to pick a favourite submission but was there one piece or story behind it that stood out for you in particular?
A: I honestly love every single selected submission so much, and my ‘favourite’ changes every time I open the book (which is pretty much every day). Right now, I am feeling so honoured to have published the story of one seventy-four-year-old contributor, who shared with me a beautiful love poem written by her late wife, who would have been one hundred this year. Their love is so overwhelmingly tangible; even when maintained within one small page, it begs to fly out, diffuse its warm glow throughout the room, and leave you completely enchanted. The youngest contributor who features in This Is How We Love is only fifteen, so it’s great to have represented such a diverse age range of lesbians.
Q: What has been the community reaction to the book so far?
A: Surreal. The lesbian community is the reason my idea for this book materialised in the first place, the reason its contents exist, the reason it gained any traction online, the reason I have almost sold out during pre-orders, and the reason I want to write and create forever. I am obsessed with my community, and their approval and support of this project genuinely means the world to me.
“...deliberate, tangible archival of our existence remains essential.”
Q: Can you speak a bit more about the significance of This Is How We Love to the Lesbian community?
A: Lesbians have been historically deprived of representation in literature and the publicised media; a serious consequence of deep-rooted heterosexual violence that continues to be distinctly detrimental to the emotional, psychological and social growth and wellbeing of lesbians across the world. Thus, deliberate, tangible archival of our existence remains essential. I wanted to create a small archive— a time capsule of sorts— that documented the candid highs and lows of the lives and loves shared between lesbians across the globe today.
I hope that this book can satisfy the community’s desire for a little piece of well-rounded, authentic lesbian representation, and provide readers with deserved nurture, affirmation, hope for the future and permission to be themselves.
This Is How We Love is available to pre-order here.
Aischa holding This Is How We Love.
Aischa’s Instagram: @aiiischa
